


New Day

by unicornwarrior



Series: Monsters [2]
Category: Of Mice & Men (Band)
Genre: M/M, Past Domestic Violence, possible triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 23:40:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6728062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unicornwarrior/pseuds/unicornwarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes up a few weeks after <em>Lifeline</em> leaves off. </p><p>Alan is recovering now - but can he really get the past out of his mind?</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Day

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> As I've been (as per usual when I'm working on a really long story) gone for like a year, I've decided to dig up some old work to make the wait a little more bearable. This here is a little piece called New Day, named after a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful song by Hollywood Undead - if you haven't heard it yet, please go check it out. It's absolutely stunning (I'm a Hollywood Undead stan #1 though so I'd probably listen to a recording of J-Dog farting into the microphone and call it an amazing piece of art).  
> Anyway, enjoy the story! I hope you're having a great day!  
> Love y'all, peace out  
> Mary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title belongs to Lion by the beautiful Hollywood Undead. 
> 
> I hope you like this chapter, and please have a wonderful day! 
> 
> Love y'all, peace out 
> 
> Mary

“You’re never going to get away from me.” 

The whisper was immaterial, seemingly having coalesced from the darkness around me. 

“I’m always going to find you,” It continued viciously. “Because you still love me,” Michael added, “And I still love you.” 

“No!” I screamed, tossing and turning, desperately trying to get rid of the Monster still forcing Itself upon me. “Leave me alone!”

“I won’t ever leave you,” It muttered into my ear, and I fell into the bottomless pit of darkness.

_~_

Nothing but darkness. I didn’t want to open my eyes, fearing whatever would happen to me if I did. So I merely lay there, lids clenched shut, heart beating far too quickly and body paralyzed with fear. I was way past wanting to find out what I was so scared of. There were so many things that had me shaking and shivering. So many things that caused my throat to tear with scream I could neither control nor cut off. 

And that was when I heard the door slam open. 

I panicked and threw the duvet over my head, curling up into a little ball and hiding behind the fabric. 

“Alan!” someone yelled in the distance.

“Fuck off, you fucking Monster!” I screamed, voice muffled by the thick blanket covering my skinny body. The action tore my throat, indicating that this wasn’t the first exclamation I’d let out during that night. 

“Alan, it’s Austin!” 

I didn’t feel any hands grabbing at me, didn’t feel anyone trying to pull me out from my bed and hurt me. Who was Austin? Where was Michael? 

“Go away!” I hollered at him, curling myself up tighter and reaching my hands up to protect my head. 

“Alan, calm down, the Monster’s not here,” Austin said. 

That was when I remembered. Michael and the Monster had left me. They’d gone away, leaving me unable to fathom a reason for their disappearance – unable to fathom a reason for my loneliness. 

I slowly crawled out from my hiding place, letting the duvet slide down my t-shirt-clad shoulders. I felt my bed beneath my body, warm and soft and comforting. Right. My bed, not ours. When I saw the panic-ridden expression on Austin’s face, I gulped. 

“I’m sorry, I was dreaming,” I mumbled. 

Austin nodded in understanding. “I know.” He was chewing on his lip, indicating that he wasn’t done yet. There was something else troubling him. I raised my eyebrows, silently willing him to just spill. Which he did, after taking another deep breath. 

“This is the eighth time this week,” he said. I nodded silently. “It’s not…” he was rubbing his forehead, obviously thinking pretty hard, “Alan.” He had a pained expression obscuring his pretty features and a concerned frown on his forehead. 

And then he finally spoke what he’d been afraid to speak aloud all week. “You need help.”

I gulped. 

“No,” I snapped suddenly, “I don’t.”

_~_

“It’ll be fine,” Jack said. There was muffled talking in the background, probably Jack’s boyfriend Alex swearing profusely while correcting his ridiculously stupid students’ English homework. 

“I don’t know,” I replied hesitantly, chewing on my lower lip. 

“Alan,” Jack said, sighing deeply, “You’re going to see a doctor, dude. Finally.” 

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting that Jack wasn’t able to see me or my movements. Noting his lack of a reply, I added, “No.”

Jack sighed again. “You’re such a fucking idiot, Alan. Austin wants to help you, dude,” he reminded me. 

“I know,” I said, voice slipping off into an area that could only be described as ‘pained and whiny’. I wasn’t proud of my childish mannerisms, but sometimes I couldn’t help their inevitable slipping through the cracks of my carefully kept façade. “But I don’t want a fucking doctor, I’m fine,” I complained, causing Jack to let out a short, humorless chuckle. 

“I don’t want to burst your little ginger-haired bubble, man, but no, you’re far from fine,” he reminded me. 

I flinched. “I am fine,” I insisted, “And I don’t need a doctor.”

With that, I hung up the phone.

_~_

“Austin,” I whispered, “Austin, it hurts.” 

He looked up at me with fear darkening his bright, shiny, vivid eyes. “What?” he asked, expression mirroring nothing but utter confusion. 

“Everything hurts,” I told him, writhing and twisting on my bed to get the cold hands to disappear from my skin, to get all the bruises to fade, to get all the wounds to heal. 

“What hurts, Alan? There is nothing,” he reminded me. I knew he was starting to be really scared. It had happened before, but it had never been this bad. 

“All the pain,” I said, breathing heavily, scratching at the skin of my neck where the feeling was most intense, like ants crawling all over me and biting at my most vulnerable parts. I felt so exposed; there was no tracking the source of my affliction. 

“What pain? What’s hurting you, Alan?” he asked, panic apparently sneaking up on him. 

“Everything,” I explained, desperately trying to get him to understand. It all hurt. My skin was broken and burnt, scarred and disfigured. I could feel It inside of me, thrusting in and out quickly. I felt Its cold breath sneaking its way into my ear and softly caressing the skin there. 

“Alan, there is _nothing_ there,” he almost yelled. 

“But it hurts!” I insisted, a tiny tear escaping the corner of my eye. “Everything hurts.” I gulped. “It all hurts so much.” 

The Monster was back, hammering against my chest along with my heart, wanting to get out to hurt me. I let out a blood-curdling scream. “Austin, it hurts so much!” I called at him, trying to find his hand with mine, roaming the duvet on my bed, desperately searching for the warm, tattooed hand with long fingers that would give me peace, save me from the Monster. But I couldn’t seem to find it. 

I pried my eyes open. Suddenly, I wasn’t in Austin’s bedroom anymore, laying on his bed, looking at the ceiling and trying to fall asleep with Austin sitting next to me and protecting me from the monster lurking in the darkness. I was back in our apartment, on the bed, and Michael was right there. Staring down at me with nothing but love in his stormy eyes. He had frozen mid-motion, his hand still reaching out to stroke me cheek but halting when he’d seen the pained expression on my face.

“It hurts so much!” I screamed, and I fell. 

I fell for what seemed like miles, falling down and down and down and down. Until my back hit something soft, something grabbed my hand, and something was pushing my sweaty hair behind my ears. 

I tore my eyes open and looked at Austin, attached to whom were the hands which were now reaching to cup my cheek, as I found out seconds later. 

“Does it still hurt?” he questioned quietly.

I nodded reluctantly. “It never stops hurting,” I pressed out, interrupting myself with sobs that I’d been withholding for the duration of this…this pathetic breakdown. 

Austin let out a deep sigh. 

“Except when you’re there,” I added quietly, getting embarrassed at the truth. 

“But I was there, and this happened,” he reminded me. 

“Yeah. This usually only happens when I’m alone,” I replied.

His eyes widened. “Wait – you mean this has happened before?” he asked, pure panic written across his features. “And you didn’t tell me?”

I could’ve sworn that I’d shrunk a bit at that accusation. “No,” I admitted quietly, “I didn’t want you to worry. Yeah, it’s happened before.” After taking a deep breath, I finally added, “Almost every night when you’re not there to keep the Monster away.” 

Austin sighed deeply and buried his face in his hands. “You’re sleeping here from now on,” he decided.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something else that was troubling him, so I asked, “And?”

“And what?”

“You want to say something else, Austin.”

“Yeah…” He hesitated. “Alan,” he said, finally. 

And then he said, “We’re going to get you a doctor.”


End file.
